This article contains discussion of kink, BDSM, and sex spaces. Reader discretion is advised.

A play party is a social event where those interested in BDSM and kink can meet, socialise, and in some cases, engage in consensual BDSM activities. 

They provide a space for kinky individuals and kink communities to explore their interests in a community-oriented environment.

We spoke with Jody Sill, a UK-based psychosexual therapist and kink specialist, about how to stay safe at a play party… therefore maximising fun.

Jody’s Top 5 Tips 

1. Consent: “Consent is absolutely key within kinky activities, from setting clear boundaries and safe words to understanding and negating some of the risks that may be present during certain kink activities, such as rope play. Effective communication needs to be present between all the people who are engaging with each other, otherwise misunderstandings or boundary violations can occur.” Informed Consent: “Informed consent is when all the possible information is provided in advance in order for somebody to make an informed decision; this is particularly important during kink due to the many variables present. For example, you may agree to be tied up by your partner but if you did not know in advance that their friend is going to watch this happen and you do not want this, this is not a fully informed decision.”
2. Boundaries & Aftercare: “These are your friends! These things are not here to get in the way of the kinky fun you wish to have, if anything, they are here to support it. There are several principles out there that many kinky people live by, such as the principles of RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) or my personal favourite, PRICK (personal responsibility, informed, consensual kink).” 
3. STI Safety: “When we think of safer-sex practices, it can be good practice if exchanging bodily fluids to check in advance what contraception will be used (if required) during a scene, and to decline engaging in sexual activity unless a recent clear STI history can be proven.” 
4. Risk Awareness: “This should be an open conversation, as there is no 100% safe way to engage in a kink or a sexual activity. For example, a Dom may accidentally spank a submissive too hard and physical harm them, or may call them a name which causes equal psychological damage. Think about what may effect you at a play party beforehand.”
5. Acceptance of others while respecting your own boundaries: “Personal freedom is just that – it applies to you and you only. Just because somebody is happy to have a sexual experience whilst using substances, that does not mean that other people will be. Within the kink community, its incredibly normal for some things to be very appealing and other things, not so much! ‘Don’t yuck my yum’ is the phrase often used within the kink community to highlight that it’s okay to have your own kinks, but please do not shame others for what they enjoy.”

Stay safe, play safe. P x