No discussions around desire were prominent in my life growing up. As a Christian, all I heard were warnings in sermons and youth groups about protecting my purity.

Discussion of sexual desires were avoided or carefully worded. This left confusion in my life as I grew up, I didn’t know if what I was feeling was wrong or just normal. For many Christians like me raised in purity culture, sex is framed as something sacred which must be protected and saved.

But the conversations around intimacy, desire and what it means to be ‘turned on’ are often missing. This left me feeling alone because of thoughts and feelings which arrived in my early teens. I didn’t feel I had enough knowledge about what happens during sex and intimate experiences.

For many young Christians, it can become overwhelming and confusing trying to navigate purity and desires. Teachings around abstinence mean we begin to distrust ourselves. In time though, I have realised that being ‘pure’ does not mean being ashamed about my feelings surrounding my sexuality.

I have been able to openly talk with my friends about what I find attractive, my own relationship with my boyfriend and how it is difficult not having sexual intimacy. Now I feel more educated in what I can expect down the line when marriage comes because I’m having these discussions.

I think there’s a growing need to talk about sex positivity and abstinence in the community because Christians don’t want to abandon their beliefs, but to exist within them more honestly without hiding away.