From UTI’s to fatigue, there are many different signs that you may be with the wrong person.

People often have a strong sense of intuition, sometimes referred to as a ‘gut feeling’.  These feelings are often triggered when the body picks up on subtle signs that you may not even register. 

But can you tell whether your partner is ‘the one’ based on body signals alone? 

Darcy, 21, from Manchester, who is using a pseudonym, told us her experience. 

“When I was with my ex-boyfriend, I started to get recurrent thrush, which I guess was my first sign. I don’t know if this was my body rejecting him, but if not then it was certainly a big coincidence. 

“Towards the end of our relationship I found it really difficult to get aroused or excited for sex, my body just didn’t seem to work as well as it used to and I didn’t know why. 

“It made the experience unpleasant, I didn’t enjoy sex and simply stopped initiating it all together. It sounds so obvious, but at the time I just thought I was broken, I hadn’t considered that it might have been him. 

“I think I simply lost attraction and deep down I was unhappy in our relationship. I was in denial, which led to my body screaming at me to leave.” 

For some people, they can become trapped in the wrong relationship due to logic and reason fighting against their ‘gut feelings’, as they choose to ignore these body signs.

According to research by moodframe.space, when experiencing negative emotions in a relationship, this can trigger the brain’s hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis. This releases hormones that, when prolonged, can cause chronic stress and manifest as physical symptoms. 

Scientifically, it is proven that your emotional state has a direct impact on immune function, digestion and cardiovascular health in particular. 

“The mind and the body are very intricately connected, and sometimes the body expresses what the mind may find difficult,” says Jody Sill, a psychosexual therapist and kink educator from Sheffield. “For example, it is not uncommon for vulva-owners to develop an involuntary tensing of the vaginal muscles.” 

This research also shows that physical rejection can often stem from emotional incompatibility. This may be due to all kinds of triggers, from manipulation to lack of support. 

Common signs are chronic anxiety, digestive problems, headaches, skin problems, low energy and more.  

“At one point I became so physically anxious to the point that I needed to go to a doctor,” Darcy says, “I had such severe stomach pain and just general tension. I remember crying in the doctor’s office because they didn’t give me any useful suggestions on how to help and I didn’t know what was wrong with me or what to do. 

“I only realised that all of these signs were my body telling me I was in the wrong relationship when I left and all of these symptoms disappeared instantly. I think because he was my first boyfriend I didn’t realise what was wrong and felt like I needed to stay longer than I should have.”

This can be the case for many people when they try to justify their partner’s actions. Small injustices can trigger stress responses, and for some people, this may build up into bodily rejection. 

“Now that I’m with my current boyfriend, he calms me down rather than making me anxious,” says Darcy. “I feel like he takes a weight off my shoulders rather than adding to it and sexually, it is completely different because I’m so happy and attracted to him. 

“I didn’t realise sexual chemistry like this existed before I met him and it makes me kick myself for not noticing the issues with my ex sooner. It seems so obvious now. 

“I don’t struggle with any of the issues that I used to, it feels so different. I definitely think that your body picks up more than you realise and it can certainly show signs of whether you’re with the right or wrong person.” 

And Darcy isn’t the only person who has experienced physical rejection of a partner. Many Reddit users have had similar experiences. 

“The subconscious mind picks up on all the little things we either accidentally miss, or deliberately ignore” one user writes. “That snide remark? Oh they’re just joking. They’re late a lot? Bad traffic. We tend to actively justify things based on logical experiences, so when our body and mind start a freak-out, there’s usually a solid reason as to why. 

“It isn’t always just sheer cowardice, we are more adept and experienced in life than we often give ourselves credit for.”

Another user writes: “As women, our intuition is our strongest ally. If your gut is telling you something is off, then more often than not it’s true. I’ve heard lots of stories from women both online and in my personal circle where they would have the weirdest things happen to their bodies, from increased acne, weight gain, and UTI’s, to insomnia and depression. 

“Your body knows what is healthy for you and when it starts throwing road blocks in your way the best thing to do is listen!”

This experience of bodily rejection is one that is more common than you may think and shows that your body may be more attuned than you realise. It may even be able to show you if you’re with the wrong person.