{"id":923,"date":"2026-05-22T11:47:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-22T10:47:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pomegranatemag.co.uk\/?p=923"},"modified":"2026-05-22T12:04:28","modified_gmt":"2026-05-22T11:04:28","slug":"the-power-of-sex-magic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pomegranatemag.co.uk\/?p=923","title":{"rendered":"The Power Of Sex Magic"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This article contains discussion of sexual and religious trauma and discussion of sexual<\/strong> intimacy. Reader discretion is advised. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let’s be honest – you\u2019re curious. Sex magic sounds alluring, erotic, maybe even a little forbidden\u2026  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, according to California-based intimacy coach, Portia Mayari, the practice of sex magic is much more powerful than we might think. Pomegranate explores. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is sex magic? <\/strong>

What if the secret to irresistible pleasure wasn\u2019t in that buffoon who ghosted you\u2026 but in an untapped power already inside you<\/em>? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enter: sex magic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By harnessing sexual energy, whether it be arousal or orgasm, you can intentionally focus on what you desire and channel that energy toward making it a reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s an intentional manifestation practice pairing focused visualisation with erotic energy to help \u2018charge\u2019 a desire.\u201d explains Portia Mayari. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSex magic can be used to bring something into your life; a job promotion, a new partner, deeper self love\u2026 by channelling sexual energy in its direction, you\u2019re bringing something into existence.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Portia\u2019s a leading erotic intimacy coach known for helping people reclaim their power through sex magic. She has a devoted online following, a podcast, a Substack newsletter, and placement in magazines like Elle and Teen Vogue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But Portia\u2019s journey here was anything but easy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meet Portia Mayari <\/strong>

Portia, a first-generation Filipino American, never imagined she would one day practice sex magic – let alone teach it. Raised in a Catholic household in the San Francisco Bay Area, she grew up under traditional rules.\u2026 be good, be quiet, oh, and definitely DON\u2019T ask questions about sex. Not only that, but her upbringing became marked by sexual trauma and serious mental health struggles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Portia says that shame around pleasure is something that, like her, most of us are quietly raised on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike many women, my narrative around sex and pleasure was that it was for a man and not my own\u201d reflects Portia. \u201cI learnt that my body was for others, my worth tied to being desirable, pleasing, accommodating.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite her family\u2019s traditional values, she decided to walk an alternative career path. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGrowing up, art and creative self-expression was deeply important and healing to me. My pursuit of it often made me the black sheep of the family. In their eyes I should\u2019ve been a nurse, doctor, or engineer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Portia excelled in the creative industry. She worked as a hairstylist for 10 years, becoming a platform artist for Rusk Hair and becoming recognized as one of the top stylists in the San Francisco Bay Area. Later, she was asked to join VSCO as Director of Community, leading a team that supported digital creators. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But by 29, she was burnt out. \u201cI was out of shape and I wanted a change. So I took control of my health, began working out for the first time since high school, and discovered self-care. This inspired a career shift toward holistic life coaching.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through a life coaching group  – now called Lumia – Portia became an ICF Certified Life Coach, focusing on this for around three years while being a content creator.

Portia\u2019s work as a wellness coach and influencer gained global recognition in publications like Shape Magazine, Elle, and Glamour, as well as partnering with brands like Nike and Adidas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOn the outside, I had the most Instagram-worthy life.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even still, she felt disconnected. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was numb. I performed pleasure without experiencing it. I was living in survival, without calling it that.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite outward success and attention, Portia felt a persistent sense of emptiness. She moved through life on autopilot, driven by the belief that constant achievement would eventually earn her fulfillment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just felt alienated from my body, with no idea what turned me on not just sexually but in life. I felt suffocated by societal expectations from my Catholic upbringing to the good-girl scripts about marriage, motherhood, and being \u2018grateful\u2019 for a life that was slowly draining me. \u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then came the permission slip. Her eldest daughter came home from school: We\u2019re starting sex education, please sign<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Portia froze. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought, I can\u2019t rely on schools, media, or culture to help my kids navigate their sexuality safely and confidently. It has to be me. That\u2019s when I realised, holy shit, I can\u2019t teach my kids this stuff because I\u2019m not empowered in my sexuality. In fact, I feel confused and conflicted. There I was\u2026 the self-love and empowerment coach who could make big moves in business\u2026 but lacked the power in herself when it came to desires in sex and relationships.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If Portia wanted to raise children who felt safe in their bodies, she had to feel safe in her own first. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had a very simple, very fierce realisation that no one was coming to hand me permission. So I finally stopped waiting to feel worthy enough, healed enough, or confident enough to want what I wanted.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Portia was 35 when she experienced her first orgasm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI decided to pleasure myself for no other purpose but to explore my body. I grabbed some coconut oil, lit a candle, and put on some music, and began to touch myself with the intention to learn and discover how my body responds to certain touches, smells, and expressions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“For the first time, I felt truly connected to my body in a way I had never experienced before. It was a pivotal moment in my journey towards understanding myself, what brought me health and fulfillment, and my self-expression. So I began navigating my sexuality\u2026\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One exploration led to another. This is when Portia learned about sex magic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI discovered sacred sexuality through a private tantra workshop.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Porita met her first tantra teacher, Jenna La Flamme, who guided Portia and her partner through a series of tantric practices including a yoni massage and a penis massage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019d always felt that sexuality could be spiritual.The focus wasn\u2019t on doing something \u2018kinky’ or extreme, but on discovering our bodies as sacred sources of pleasure and power.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sacred sexuality is an approach to intimacy that views sexual energy as a divine, spiritual force rather than just physical pleasure. It aims to deepen connection, and healing by blending physical intimacy with presence, breathwork, and emotional, or spiritual, consciousness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sex magic is a form of this – beginning in ancient traditions and recently popularized in the west by teachers like Margot Anand. Sex magic treats sexual energy as a surprisingly powerful tool for change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inspired and empowered, Portia began travelling the globe to train with world-class sexuality teachers and embodiment coaches. While visiting Costa Rica and Mexico, Portia trained with the likes of Layla Martin, Jenna La Flamme and Dr. Arielle Schwartz. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI dedicated myself to understanding the depths of sexuality, transformation, and spiritual awakening. I went from absolute self-loathing to unconditional, radical as fuck <\/em>self-love and self-acceptance.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once Portia saw what was possible, there was no going back. In 2021, she became a certified VITA Tantric Sex and Relationship Coach, first sharing sex magic with clients, then with thousands of followers online. She became what she\u2019d needed all this time: a light in the fog of shame that so often surrounds desire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBreaking free from Catholic and generational shame didn\u2019t happen in one dramatic moment; it was a slow unhooking of my body from stories that told me I was dangerous, dirty, or \u2018too much.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“At first, it felt terrifying. I had to sit with the voices in my head that said, \u201cYou\u2019re a bad woman, a bad mother, a bad daughter,\u201d and learn that this voice was inherited, not the truth of my soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOver time, with sacred sexuality practices, something softer and deeper emerged. It began to feel like I was reclaiming my birthright: that my body, my orgasms, and my pleasure, are holy, not sinful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Portia no longer identifies as a practicing Catholic, but does carry a deep relationship with spirituality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She explains: \u201cI don\u2019t reject the faith chosen by my family; I understand it was one way they reached for safety, belonging, and meaning. What I reject is the way those beliefs are weaponised against our bodies and our pleasure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I\u2019m finally living a life that feels rooted in sensual aliveness and deep alignment. My greatest loves right now are my community, my work, and my own body.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How sex magic works<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For skeptics wondering if sex magic really works, Portia points to a science-adjacent explanation. She says sexual arousal engages the autonomic nervous system, activating and then releasing tension, which is why the body can feel deeply reset afterwards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPair that with visualisation and you create a potent experience. Pleasure also triggers neurochemicals tied to motivation, bonding, and relief. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Combine a clear desire with an emotionally charged state, and your nervous system registers it as real and safe. It\u2019s an imprint that says this is okay to want. <\/em>It\u2019s less about manifesting and more about teaching your body and mind that your desire belongs to you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While there aren\u2019t yet scientific studies on sex magic specifically, there is research in psychology supporting manifestation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

James Doty, a neurosurgeon at Stanford University, explains this in his book Mind Magic<\/em>. The book, in summary, suggests that with focused attention, visualisation, and clear intention-setting, people can strengthen neural pathways that support motivation and goal-directed behaviour. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, consistently focusing energy toward a goal can shift your mindset and make it more likely you\u2019ll take the actions needed to achieve it. 
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to perform a sex magic ritual: Portia Explains<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suppose you think of your body like a battery. Sex magic is how you charge it. Then direct that energy. 

1) Create a container <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start by creating a ritual space that signals safety and focus. This can be as simple as lighting a candle, taking a shower, or putting on music that makes you feel tuned in and turned on. You\u2019re not trying to be \u2018sexy\u2019. You\u2019re creating an environment where your body can relax and become receptive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Choose your intention <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pick one desire and name it clearly. Keep it simple: something you genuinely want and feel ready to hold. It can be tangible (like a job or a creative opportunity) or internal (like healing or building deeper self-trust). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Engage the senses and visualise <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before you move into pleasure, activate your senses. Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. Then visualise yourself living the desired reality, using those senses to make it vivid. You\u2019re letting the body familiarise itself with the reality you\u2019re calling in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) Build erotic energy <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without forcing it, begin to build pleasure through breath, movement, touch. This can be alone or with a partner: however you prefer to receive pleasure. Sex magic doesn\u2019t require orgasm. It doesn\u2019t have to be intense. It\u2019s not performative. The key is presence. If you notice tension, rushing, or performance, slow down and return to breath. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) \u2018Charge\u2019 the intention <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As arousal rises, hold your intention lightly, like a thread. At the peak (orgasm or a strong crest of pleasure), bring the desire fully into awareness and drop into the feeling of it being true. This is the moment of imprint: letting pleasure tell your system, it\u2019s safe to want; it\u2019s safe to receive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) Release and close <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterwards, rest. Let your body integrate. Some people like to place a hand on the heart and belly, whisper gratitude, or write a single sentence in a journal. Then, return to your life with small actions that match the reality you just rehearsed in your body. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re feeling deeply dysregulated, heavy, or using the practice to bypass emotions, it\u2019s wise to pause and come back when you feel more resourced. Sex magic is most powerful when it\u2019s rooted in consent and safety\u201d noted Portia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is sex magic for you? <\/strong>

The short answer? It\u2019s for anyone. Portia says that many of us are unravelling decades of societal \u2018shoulds\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the thing that whispers not yet, or maybe later,\u201d explains Portia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy mission now is to help others tap into their own pleasure and sensuality as a way to heal trauma, connect with their original essence, and live more fulfilling lives.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While sex magic can be practised alone, Portia offers intimate 1:1 coaching. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guide people through breath work, grounding, inner child work, nervous-system mapping, and erotic energy practices to help clients feel more choice, safety, and aliveness in their body. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We might explore boundaries, desire, communication, or patterns in your relationships, and often we work with what\u2019s happening in their life right now.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though still unconventional in Western therapy, Portia believes sex magic is a profoundly healing tool, helping people reclaim whatever was taken from them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When practised with consent and safety, she says it can become a direct path to wholeness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour body is not a problem to solve, but a source of magic waiting to be turned on.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Image Credit: Maria Calderon<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n



<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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