“It’s too special to ever walk away from”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Abbie met her partner Alex through an online game. Within two weeks, they were dating across countries. Here, she reflects on what it really takes to make love work across borders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did you and your partner first meet?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Alex and I first met playing the same game. A game that we both really liked. We had a really nice conversation and things just went from there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where were you both living at the time?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I was at university in Loughborough and he was living in Lisbon, Portugal. So from the very beginning, there was a significant distance between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When did you become a long-distance couple?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n About two weeks after we first started talking and we were talking every single day at this point we decided to give dating a go. And I guess that’s when you could start saying we did long distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What initially drew you to Alex, knowing he didn’t live close by?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I think what initially drew me to him was this very instinctual connection that we had, like right from the get go. Our first conversation felt so natural and I just felt like I’d been talking to him for years even though we’d only been talking for about a week. We started dating very soon after we first met and I think that’s because we connected so deeply from our first conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n “Our first conversation felt so natural. I just felt like I’d been talking to him for years.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Did the distance give you pause before you got together?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I think there were definitely some concerns going into it because we both knew it wouldn’t be easy and that we might not see each other as much as other people in other relationships could. But I think that we were just so drawn to each other like our mutual interests and personalities just mesh so well that it wasn’t a concern very much in the beginning. But as our relationship progresses it does become more concerning. But we know that we get through anything. And I think that’s part of why our relationship is so strong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you discuss the distance before committing to the relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, it is something we discussed. But as I said, I think we were just so drawn to each other that it wasn’t too much of a concern. It was, but we weren’t thinking it was going to be relationship-ruining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How often do you manage to see each other in person?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n We usually see each other, well, at the moment while I’m at university, we usually see each other every three months or so. It varies because I usually go to see him when I have university breaks, like for Christmas and Easter. And usually in the summer, I will go see him for a longer period, just because I have more time off university. But yeah, every three months I’ll try and see him and he will try and see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Is the cost of travelling back and forth a real strain?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, especially in the summer it takes up a lot of money, it’s very expensive. But it will always be worth it. Obviously it would be easier if we didn’t have to fly and travel to see each other. But that’s just one of the barriers that we have to overcome to be together. We’ll stay in touch day to day, we text and call and FaceTime every single day and we have done since we first met, every single day. So I think that shows our commitment to each other. It’s hard sometimes when we can’t call or text as much as we want to due to other commitments and jobs and university. But we try to text and call as much as we can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you think the distance changes how you communicate as a couple?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I think we definitely text and call more than the average couple, just because I think it compensates for the fact that we can’t see each other in real life. And I think just in general we just want to see each other all the time. And I think our calls and texts reflect that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are the biggest challenges you face?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, obviously, the main one is the distance itself, but I think what comes with the distance is the miscommunication that can sometimes happen over text. Even on voice call, some stuff can be misconstrued when you’re not seeing each other in real life with body language and facial expressions and stuff like that. But I also think that with the difficulties that come with it there are strengths that come with it also, because I feel like our relationship has gotten a lot stronger due to us working on things like miscommunication and other issues that come with the distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Has trust or insecurity ever been an issue for you both?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I think that in long-distance relationships this is a big issue for some people. But I think in our relationship we haven’t had too many issues with this. Maybe in the beginning there were some questions about mistrust. But because we call every single day and we are mainly using all of our free time to talk to each other, those issues of mistrust never really came into our relationship as much as some other people might find.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What has been the hardest period for you both?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n We had to go for about six months once without seeing each other and I think that was definitely the hardest, just because of the amount of time that we were apart. It was really difficult not being able to touch or kiss or even just talk with him in person. But no matter how much time we spend apart, when we see each other again it’s always worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n “No matter how much time we spend apart, when we see each other again it’s always worth it.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n How do you deal with missing each other day to day?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I think spending quality time together is one of the most important things in a long-distance relationship. Like not just calling and texting but also doing activities with each other that you’re both going to enjoy. As I said we did meet on an online game and I think gaming is a very big part of our relationship as it allows us to spend time with each other doing something that we both enjoy, something that’s a mutual interest for both of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Does gaming together genuinely help close that gap?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, definitely. I think a lot of long-distance couples can attest to this when I say that when you’re playing an online game together and you can actually interact on the game, it really helps you feel a lot closer and feel like you’re actually bonding with them properly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you think long distance has made your relationship stronger?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I think there’s definitely aspects of our relationship that have gotten stronger because of the distance. And I believe that with any amount of distance in any couple there will come times when you have issues that you need to get over, and I think that this makes the relationship stronger because of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever considered ending things because of the distance?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This might come as a surprise to some people who feel like they could never do long distance, but I have never considered ending the relationship or not starting the relationship just because of the distance. I just feel like our relationship is too special and too one in a million to never break up or end the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What advice would you give to someone just starting out in a long-distance relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter how hard it might feel at the moment, due to the distance or the miscommunication or the barriers that are keeping you apart, just know that the distance will eventually end, hopefully, for most couples. And the time that you spend together will always be worth it in the end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “It’s too special to ever walk away from” Abbie met her partner Alex through an online game. Within two weeks, they were dating across countries. Here, she reflects on what it really takes to make love work across borders. How did you and your partner first meet? Alex and I first met playing the same […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":244,"featured_media":361,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[30,42,33,32],"class_list":["post-350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-connections","tag-connections","tag-long-distance","tag-love","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n