{"id":1168,"date":"2026-05-28T12:45:31","date_gmt":"2026-05-28T11:45:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pomegranatemag.co.uk\/?p=1168"},"modified":"2026-05-28T14:27:06","modified_gmt":"2026-05-28T13:27:06","slug":"why-your-sex-life-deserves-a-journal-entry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pomegranatemag.co.uk\/?p=1168","title":{"rendered":"Why your sex life deserves a journal entry"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Most of us, at some point, kept a journal. Whether that’s for the gratitude lists, the anxiety spirals, the dreams we half-remember and feel compelled to get down before they dissolve – or even a diary you had in secondary school that kept track of your playground crushes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point is, we write about everything else but this is one part of life that almost never makes it into those entries – and according to sexual health educator Elizabeth Ashford, that silence is costing us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Sex should not always sit at the bottom of the to-do list,” says Elizabeth, founder of Beyond the Beez, an educational platform on sexual health and self-discovery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We are sexual beings – that is part of all of our identities in different ways and it is worth attending to.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elizabeth came to this work through Harvard, where she studied Psychology and sat on the board of SHEATH, a student-run sexual health organisation. Later training at the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment sharpened her thinking further, and in 2019 she launched Beyond the Beez – a name, she explains, aims to look past the obvious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We’re fed so many surface-level ideas. That having sex on the first date makes you promiscuous. That sex equals penis and vagina until a man finishes.” She pauses on that one, visibly frustrated that this view still holds space in the landscape of sex ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“That’s a big reason so many women lose desire and the orgasm gap is vast. It’s about doing more digging and finding a more truthful reality. Listening to yourself instead of everyone else.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Central to Beyond the Beez is that pleasure begins in the brain, which means the same tools we use to tend to our minds – reflection, awareness, the slow, unglamorous work of paying attention – apply here too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Every single person will go through ups and downs in their sexual life, just like the rest of life,” Ashford said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We work on our mental health to handle the lows better. Our sex lives deserve the same.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Shows
Beyond the Beez, Between the Sheets Journal
Image Credit: Cortnee Daley <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That belief gave rise to her Between the Sheets Journal<\/a><\/em> – a guided journal built around the idea that awareness is usually the first thing people need. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It’s really hard to pinpoint what is wrong, especially when nothing dramatic has happened – when it’s just a slow fade of desire in a long-term relationship,” she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“The journal is designed to build the muscle of awareness: consistently checking in on what you’re doing, how it’s feeling, how you’d rate the pleasure and your excitement. It brings your attention to what might be worth tackling.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each entry opens with a single word – nervous, excited, euphoric, habitual, lonely<\/em> – which is chosen by the user to describe a recent experience, whether that’s sex with a partner or masturbation. From there, you note where it happened because location, Ashford explained, creates its own emotional context. If your parents were in the next room, that detail – whether it added a frisson of excitement or a layer of anxiety – belongs on the page. You rate your pleasure and how present you felt. Then come the prompts that reach beyond the bedroom entirely: your stress levels that day, your work, your body, your mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I want people to understand that sex does not happen in a vacuum,” she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Stress is the biggest sex killer. Your boss yelling at you that morning can affect how you show up that evening.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every ten entries, the journal pauses for reflection, giving you a chance to look back and spot what the individual entries might obscure. If pleasure has been sitting at a six for weeks, the question becomes: what would an eight look like? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It’s about chipping away at things gradually,” she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Shows
Beyond the Beez, Between the Sheets Journal
Image Credit: Cortnee Daley<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though the journal is primarily a personal practice, masturbation features heavily, and individual honesty is the point, Elizabeth sees no reason couples can’t use it together after shared experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Anyone can use it however works for them. If doing it with a partner is helpful, I would absolutely encourage that.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The feedback she hears most often is not that the journal transformed people overnight, but that it gave them somewhere to start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 “When you’re circling through not being into it tonight, or the night after, or the night after that – it’s exhausting and disorienting. The journal gives you a grounding place to begin untangling it.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The prompts she encourages users to maximise the most are the ones that zoom out beyond the intimacy – asking about your workout, your family, the particular weight of the week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 “That’s where we really miss the connection. It’s all interconnected, and people don’t think about that enough,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For anyone who finds even that first step too daunting, Elizabeth’s advice is simply to begin somewhere smaller. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Whether that’s incorporating lube into your experiences, or just start having more open conversations about sex with your partner. Dip a toe in, take one small step, and then the next until you find a sense of comfort with who you are and what you enjoy.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Your sexual self is an important part of who you are, and there is nothing to be ashamed of,” she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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